Struggling with Demons

Struggling with demons

We often see the challenges in our lives, more specifically the demons we struggle against in our lives as some external force or situation. Meaning that we perceive that some sort of external remedy exists which can be a balm for our affliction. Ergo, often if we are depressed we think that changing our situation will bring happiness or perhaps we look for happiness in others. Many look for some new love interest because of the excitement it brings, when in fact doing so is like using duct tape to repair structural damage in your home. And truth be told, to cost of most “temporary fixes” is a far higher than we first thought. But our demons, if we allow them, will always drive us to self medicate. I spent 7 years writing a book, “To Wrestle with Darkness”, about my own demons and how I realized that these issues are innate and not something to take out on those around me. It’s simply not fair. And let’s be clear, I don’t like pain anymore than anyone else. And battling one’s own demons is painful. But I’d rather suffer through than to cause harm to any innocent. I know that often over the last 30 years our culture has preached that we need to do what makes us happy, to pursue our own truth. But I for one really question that. Every action in the universe has a cost. A price must be paid for every decision we act upon. It may not be us paying the fare, but someone will. Be it our children, spouse, significant other, family or friends. To allow a dysfunction within me to wreak havoc in the world around me is not what I want my life to be about. Granted, even still, being the flawed human that I am, my issues transcend my waking reality and seep out into the world around me. But for the purposes of this commentary, I’m stating that I strive every day, regardless of how I might be feeling on the inside, to be a blessing to others. And in turning my focus so, I slowly choke the life out of my own demons.

Please check out my latest book, Heretics. Thanks.

https://www.amazon.com/Heretics-Wrestle-Darkness-Alan-Jones/dp/0966667980/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533063351&sr=8-1&keywords=heretics+alan+jones&dpID=51l9tS3FmdL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

In Our Anger...

In these days of chaos and fear it’s easy to be consumed with anger.

But what if?

What if we focused our anger less on the outrage of the day, and more on the systemic inequality within a system which claims justice for all? What if accepted the truth that our society values some lives more than others, and that the presumption of innocence is not a right afforded to everyone? What if we understood that we must first accept the truth of where we are, but we can hope to move forward?

What if voting matched polling on issues of the underserved, human rights and collective healthcare for all? What if love and concern for others motivated us more than our fears? What if our actions in real life matched our beliefs?

What if one day we realized that we are the government? That what is happening in this country is our responsibility and that history will hold each of us accountable for what we did and did not do in this moment? When we ask, “why won’t they do something?”, do we realize that the “they” is us? There is no one else.

What if we didn’t care where we served, as long as we served? What if we didn’t care who got the credit, as long as it got done? What if each of us, consistently, loved one another, as we loved ourselves?

What if we realized that the best way to prevent these events is to produce a climate of accountability, beforehand? What if we realized that the best way to save lives is to love life in all its wonderful aspects? What if we realized that the best way to move forward is to have faith, enough to let go?

What if we weren’t afraid? What if we lived each day like it was our last? What if we lived each day like it was our first?

Anger is not a sin, but its fruit can be, if we allow it. The divine gift of free will, allows us to choose which path we will travel, be it the path to life or the path to death. For even from the abyss, this grace we’ve been afforded allows us choose life, even in our anger.

Job's Plea...

Hold me down,

Hold me down,

when I’m not around.

When I’m caught up and bound, hold me down.

When hope is unwound, hold me down.

When love can’t be found, hold me down.

Hold me down,

Hold me down,

when I can’t conceive the dawn, hold me down

When darkness pursues me like a hound, hold me down.

When I’m far from sacred ground, hold me down.

Hold me down when my screams do not make a sound.

Hold me down,

Hold me down,

When I’m six feet down…

 

Please check out my latest novel, Heretics.  And yes, it's all that.

https://www.amazon.com/Heretics-Wrestle-Darkness-Book-3-ebook/dp/B076QWXQB6/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1528416178&sr=8-1&keywords=heretics+alan+jones